Why Living With My Trauma?

You may be wondering why the name “Living With My Trauma” was chosen. Most people have experienced some sort of trauma at some point in their life. People talk more today about anxiety and depression than they did years ago, but people still do not talk about trauma enough. Many people do not seem to want to address it or they may not want to credit the problem to trauma. The reality is though that trauma is often connected to or at the source of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, suicide/suicide attempts, mental/emotional disorders, phobias, and more. It is also not uncommon for it to be at the source of many of the physical problems people face today such as drug addiction, seizure disorders, eating disorders, high blood pressure, heart attacks, and much more.

I developed trauma about 25 years ago (at the age of 5) in a near-drowning accident (you can read more about my story on the About Page). I did not seem to show any signs of trauma nor would my abusive father acknowledge it had he seen it. How can you recognize something no one looks for and no one understands? How does someone deal with something people don’t want to or like to acknowledge?

We hear people say, “just get over it”, “grow up!”, and “stop being such a baby!” We know people do overreact at times, but what if that isn’t always the case. We use the phrase “sweep it under the rug.” Imagine sweeping food under the rug. It may leave a small bump under the rug, but you can probably ignore that. It’s fine for a few weeks until you start to smell something. It bothers you some but not enough to deal with it. Several more weeks pass and not only does it smell around the house, but you now have bugs crawling around where that food is and around other areas of the house. Now you have to deal with a big problem to deal with because you didn’t take care of the initial problem at the start.

With trauma, it’s very similar. It may not seem like a big problem at first. You can try to ignore it, but eventually it seeps into other areas of a person’s life causing more and more problems and potentially other traumas.

It wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I began to seek out help. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I began to finally work through and overcome many of the difficulties (anxiety, depression, eating disorders, flashbacks). It took me years to meet the right people and to find the right information. Because it took so long, I missed out on an enjoyable and a more productive life.

I would love to tell you I never get discouraged, depressed, or have any symptoms of trauma. Sadly, I still deal with these problems just like many others. However, as a counselor of mine once put it, “You (referring to me) are not affected the way you used to be.” I haven’t had flashbacks in a long time. I don’t lie in bed for days or weeks depressed like I used to. I stand up for myself and make the hard choices I couldn’t make before. I’m living a life full of hope, inspiration, and confidence rather than a life defeated in a pit of despair.

My hope and goal is to help people understand better what trauma is, how to recognize, how to live with it, and how to overcome it. Because anxiety, depression, and other disorders are so closely connected to trauma, you will find a great deal of information and resources here to help you or someone you know through it. I hope my story, experience, and knowledge guides people to, not just a life of coping, but one of overcoming.